Sunday, November 9, 2014

Potential Song Titles About Cincinnati (And Elsewhere) Intended to Offend

Caught Talking Shit About Norwood

Cincinnati Tourism Commercials

Realizing That You Went to Black Veil Brides Shows at the Mad Hatter

Trying to Enjoy a Show at the Thompson House

Going to the Chameleon

Free Autozone Punk Show

Deciding Where to Have a Sandwich in Corryville

Buying Back Your iPod From CD/Game Exchange

Eating at a Skyline That's Not in Clifton

The Clifton Market

"Eating Fresh" Because the Closest Wendy's is in Walnut Hills

Having to Wait Ninety Minutes to Buy a Gun at the Taco Bell/KFC in Northside

Living Here Without a Car

Listening to Your Friend Complain About Coexist Bumperstickers While You're in the Passenger Seat

Friend Who Always Has Car Radio Set to NPR or WLW

Fiddling With the Radio Dial and Feeling That Hole Inside of Your Soul Again Because WOXY is Still Gone

Classic Rock Radio

That Fucking Asshole at Shows Who Never Stops Mumbling About Afghani Black Metal and Nepali Grindcore

Going to That New Craft Beer Place Downtown

Waiting in Line Downtown for Two Hours to Buy Mediocre Cheap Food

Talking to Film Critics About Anything

People Who Only Listen to New Music on the Radio and Tell Everyone That Rock is Dead

Anyone Who Declares That Punk is Dead

Paying Money to Support Your Friends' Terrible Band at Midpoint

Going to Bunbury

Finding Out Your Favorite Band Played at MOTR or the Southgate House Revival Two Weeks Ago

Eating Pizza Anywhere Other Than Adriatico's

Bus Riders Who Try to Share Their Enthusiasm About Cosplay With Strangers


Angry Drunk Guy at Any Bus Stop Who Asks for Fifty Cents and After You Give it to Him, He Asks For More


The Prevalence of Hook-Up Culture, Despite Hamilton County Having the Highest AIDS Rate in the State

People Who Like to Talk to Strangers About the Streetcar

Yuppies Who Live Downtown and Talk Shit On Yuppies in the Suburbs

Yuppies in the Suburbs Who Talk Shit on Yuppies Who Live Downtown

Pro Sports Here Other Than the Cyclones

People Who Genuinely Like LaRosa's

CPD Admitting to "Cracking Down on the Street People Because They're Bad for Business"


Aggressive Panhandling Junkies Who Follow You Across the Street

Getting Hep-C From a Shitty Stick-and-Poke Tattoo

People in the Suburbs Who Don't Lock Their Doors at Night and Are Terrified of Going Into the City


Trying to Locate Frog Mountain

Taste of Cincinnati


Anything Like Those Two Shitshows

Seeing Multiple Heroin Deals While Waiting at a Bus Stop in NKY

The Area's Pathetic Excuse for Strip Clubs

Seeing Someone From One of Those "Strip Clubs" at Church the Next Day

Taking This Stupid List Seriously


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