Sunday, November 9, 2014

Potential Song Titles About Cincinnati (And Elsewhere) Intended to Offend

Caught Talking Shit About Norwood

Cincinnati Tourism Commercials

Realizing That You Went to Black Veil Brides Shows at the Mad Hatter
 

Trying to Enjoy a Show at the Thompson House
 

Going to the Chameleon
 

Free Autozone Punk Show
 

Deciding Where to Have a Sandwich in Corryville
 

Buying Back Your iPod From CD/Game Exchange
 

Eating at a Skyline That's Not in Clifton
 

The Clifton Market
 

"Eating Fresh" Because the Closest Wendy's is in Walnut Hills
 

Having to Wait Ninety Minutes to Buy a Gun at the Taco Bell/KFC in Northside

Living Here Without a Car
 

Listening to Your Friend Complain About Coexist Bumperstickers While You're in the Passenger Seat
 

Friend Who Always Has Car Radio Set to NPR or WLW
 

Fiddling With the Radio Dial and Feeling That Hole Inside of Your Soul Again Because WOXY is Still Gone
 

Classic Rock Radio
 

That Fucking Asshole at Shows Who Never Stops Mumbling About Afghani Black Metal and Nepali Grindcore
 

Going to That New Craft Beer Place Downtown
 

Waiting in Line Downtown for Two Hours to Buy Mediocre Cheap Food
 

Talking to Film Critics About Anything
 

People Who Only Listen to New Music on the Radio and Tell Everyone That Rock is Dead
 

Anyone Who Declares That Punk is Dead
 

Paying Money to Support Your Friends' Terrible Band at Midpoint
 

Going to Bunbury
 

Finding Out Your Favorite Band Played at MOTR or the Southgate House Revival Two Weeks Ago
 

Eating Pizza Anywhere Other Than Adriatico's
 

Bus Riders Who Try to Share Their Enthusiasm About Cosplay With Strangers
 

UC
 

Angry Drunk Guy at Any Bus Stop Who Asks for Fifty Cents and After You Give it to Him, He Asks For More
 

Bogart's
 

The Prevalence of Hook-Up Culture, Despite Hamilton County Having the Highest AIDS Rate in the State
 

People Who Like to Talk to Strangers About the Streetcar
 

Yuppies Who Live Downtown and Talk Shit On Yuppies in the Suburbs
 

Yuppies in the Suburbs Who Talk Shit on Yuppies Who Live Downtown
 

Pro Sports Here Other Than the Cyclones
 

People Who Genuinely Like LaRosa's
 

CPD Admitting to "Cracking Down on the Street People Because They're Bad for Business"
 

Navigating Cincinnati.com
 

Aggressive Panhandling Junkies Who Follow You Across the Street
 

Getting Hep-C From a Shitty Stick-and-Poke Tattoo
 

People in the Suburbs Who Don't Lock Their Doors at Night and Are Terrified of Going Into the City
 

Starbucks
 

Trying to Locate Frog Mountain
 

Taste of Cincinnati
 

Oktoberfest
 

Anything Like Those Two Shitshows
 

Seeing Multiple Heroin Deals While Waiting at a Bus Stop in NKY
 

The Area's Pathetic Excuse for Strip Clubs
 

Seeing Someone From One of Those "Strip Clubs" at Church the Next Day
 

Taking This Stupid List Seriously

:)

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